My skin = a weapon!!!!

While I was pregnant I was conscious that the boys would be born with several predetermined strikes against them. Through no fault of their own, they would inevitably be judged because of the color of their skin, because they were born into a one-parent family, and also because of the low socio-economic area in which we lived. Each one of the above-mentioned labels was of course out of my children's hands, society would dictate what tags they would carry with them, and yet they would undoubtedly pay a price. I decided from the very start that I would make sure that they had a better understanding of their history earlier in life than I ever did. As soon as the boys were old enough to understand I began teaching them their history…..their real history, not what would be taught to them in school. I felt it was important for them to know as much as possible about their ancestors and how our history reached higher heights than slavery. We existed before slavery and despite the vast and varied attempts by the mainstream to eradicate our powerful and regal history I was determined that the boys would grow up with a true sense of self. Despite the existence of modern-day slavery, I felt it necessary that the boys knew, as a people, we would continue to not merely exist, but thrive. The boys needed to have this knowledge because growing up black means they need to have an awareness that they can and most probably will be perceived very differently by some. The amount of melanin in their skin, for an indeterminable amount of society, is an indication of their propensity to perpetuate violent criminal acts. However, despite what others may see, the boys needed to recognize their amazing abilities and how they are born from Kings and Queens. They had to understand that their value was more than the sum of the societally imposed equation; the higher the melanin count the more dangerous the individual. They are Princes that will one day become Kings and they should strive to be more than an assumption of what they can be. They need to achieve more than society believes they can achieve. They need to break those invisible, or not so invisible, shackles, and overcome the barriers that were designed to hold them back. They know better and therefore should be more, it is not acceptable to allow a white-dominated society to dictate their lot in life.

My boys are not only handsome, but they also have big hearts, are caring, have been raised with morals, principles, and values, and sadly a great many people will never see that because all they will see is black skin, which in turn will inform their opinion of my children and result in little more than the presumption that their safety is at risk. As a mother that breaks my heart, not only for my boys but for all black boys and girls because this is their reality and their truth. In 2020 we should have reached a point in our thinking where we see people based on their merits. Our perception of one another or understanding of each other should be based on more than the color of our skin.

Schools, police everyone sees them as a weapon rather than a human. Institutional racism fuels the lack of education, support, understanding, and care for our young black people and we then have the audacity to wonder why they are prone to become this self-fulfilling prophecy. If we provided better educational opportunities, enabled a better way to escape poverty, had more role models within schools that looked like our children and were able to offer more mentoring projects that would work in conjunction with a wide range of services and provided the necessary support, education and often love to our BME youth then maybe, just maybe they would have more hope, vision and drive for their futures. It would help them to become more determined and driven to succeed.

It is said that it takes a village to raise a child and believe me, despite being the only adult in our household, my family and friends are the village that has helped raise my boys and instill in them a sense of pride for their skin color. The boys have seen firsthand how strong black men and women are not predetermined to grow up to be violent criminals but rather utilize their gifts and talents, work hard, remain focused, and as such have achieved so much more than most people thought possible.

We are two months away from 2021 and I still worry about my boys whenever they leave the house. I know that at any time they can be perceived as a threat and of course, they are still at risk of being profiled by police based on their race. Can they ever be seen as anything other than the stereotypical images of a black boy/man? Will they ever be seen as a human first, man second, and somewhere further down that list „Black“ or will they always be demonized because our society is so entrenched in racism that we are no longer even aware of how we instinctively and without hesitation judge and react to one another. Will there ever be a day when my children are afforded the same equality as their white peers, I often wonder if I will ever be witness to such a dramatic development in our thinking that the color of my sons' skin will no longer be seen as their biggest and most threatening weapon.