Death before dishonor

Death before dishonor…..this is something I had always taught my children. I mean, not literally of course.

For me, death before dishonor is about representing your family name, doing it in the best way possible, and demonstrating the honesty that you wish to receive from others. Making sure that you can stand by what you say and your actions are a reflection of your words. If you say you will do something, then do it. If you promise to be there for someone then be there.

For my boys the idea behind it has always been that they are people of their word. Material things, money and people come and go, but in this world there is only one thing that is almost guaranteed and it is our word. I have always been a staunch advocate that if the boys say they will do something then it should be done. I have tried to be their example and role model of this. I may not always do everything immediately, however if I say I will complete something or be there for someone then that is exactly what will happen. I also never make promises unless I know for a fact that I can honor that promise.

At the same time as teaching the boys that their word is important and is a clear indicator of their character, I have simultaneously taught them that not everyone in this world behaves in this way. There are some who will say things for the sake of talking. There are some who are prepared to tell others anything they think is needed in order to get what they want. For these people there is no remorse for their lies, they are purely driven by personal gain. At times it has been a harsh lesson and the boys have been hurt or confused by this but it is a vital lesson. Through personal experience they have learned how it feels to be let down, how words are not always backed up through actions and that being lied to can cause them immeasurable pain. But from that pain comes strength and an awareness of how their words and actions can affect others.

These lessons have made the boys strong yet caring. They have also learned that these negative experiences are not a reflection on them but rather an example of the lack of character displayed by the person inflicting this pain on them. The tongue is the most powerful weapon any of us possesses and it is vital that we learn the power of our words. Words can give others hope or destroy them and it is our duty to be mindful of the impact our words can have and therefore it is imperative that we choose our words wisely and only speak about what we can do if we know for a fact that we can fulfill those expectations.

Words can never be taken back once they are spoken. Be careful how you use them.