Taken for granted

A child is a true blessing…….don’t get me wrong I understand that when they vomit on the kitchen floor seconds before you're meant to leave the house, they really don’t feel like a blessing. But they are!!! When you actually think about it, to be able to have a little human growing inside of you, and then to push that lump out and be faced with your baby for the first time is a feeling that can’t even be put into words or truly expressed. I just remember lying on the operating table with half my innards hanging out, crying when I say both my babies faces for the first time. I will never forget that overwhelming feeling of emotion that washed over me.

But, and this is a BIG but, on a day to day basis how often do you look at them, I mean REALLY look at them and cherish what you have. I know that life has a nasty way of taking over and the hustle and bustle of daily life gets in the way so much that I can get irritated and angry with them so quickly and wish they would help more or talk less or not eat as much or do the washing or tidy their rooms or just leave me alone for five minutes without hearing “Mum, mum, mum”.

As they grow up I often mutter under my breath or think “I wish they would just give me some time to myself” and I am sure that I’m not alone in thinking that, the harsh reality is that before long they won’t need me and in the blink of an eye they will have moved out and started their own independent journey in life and then I will waste time looking back, thinking about all the missed opportunities and times where I could have loved them more, complained less and just basked in the wonder of them, (ok maybe that was a little melodramatic, I mean they are mine after all, so maybe not bask, more just enjoy). Trying to juggle full time work, running a house, paying bills and all the other stuff I have in my head day to day means that the time I dedicate to them is not always as much as they would like or I would like. But I try and compensate by giving them quality over quantity, or at least that is how I justify it. If I can give them my undivided attention when I have the time then surely that is enough?

I recently spoke with a parent whose current circumstances means that they see and interact with their children twice a year. I had to be honest with them and told them I do not know how they cope because that would kill me. Don't misunderstand me, there are times I wish I could have a week or more alone, but if I'm completely truthful with myself I cant imagine my life without them. It would literally kill me to only see my babies twice a year. It made me realize just how much time is taken for granted. I assume, and not consciously either, that my children will always be there and give it no thought as to how much time we have left together. It is only when I am given the opportunity to see the contrast in how others live that I am forced to take a good look at the blessings I have. So please, take the time to value each other and appreciate all that you have with your children because you never know how, why or when that will stop. I know better than anyone that it is not easy to stay in the moment and focus all your attention on them, but it has to be a conscious decision that we all make, because like most of you, I have experienced the pain of losing a loved one, but the pain of losing a child must be a gazillion times worse. Love them with all you have NOW because one day you will have to let go and you want to let go knowing you loved them with everything you had