Magnetic's experience

To me not having a father was normal, not abnormal. Most of my friends had stepdads or revolving dads but majority of us bonded because we all had single mothers and kind of was able to get away with a lot because of that manless presence. I remember smoking my first tobacco product (black-n-mild) my brothers older friend told me to try it, and naively I did. I remember watching porno with my older brother (2 years older) and his friends. See, my brother was my role model and a negative one at that. Him also not having a father led him to the streets, which in turn led me to the streets because i wanted to be just like big bro. He disobeyed my mother, so did I, he grew dreads so did I, he put gold teeth in his mouth so did I. Only difference I graduated High school so there was something in me that was pulling me from being a follower because I was a natural born leader. I pose the question what is a young black male to do growing up in poverty with no positive role models (or at least that's the way it seemed) and no guidance. Because my mother was too busy working hard trying to provide for two young boys to micro manage our lives. The streets was my teacher and it helped me thrive in many instances, but it also landed me in federal prison doing a 7 year sentence. Could a positive father figure have deterred me? Of course it could have, because the day I graduated High School he would of told me, "its time for you to leave the nest and become a man on your own , we have your back and will support you. GO!" just those words would've been enough but as a momma's boy I thought i had to stay and help my mother. She didn't need my help, she has been helping me for 28years, what she needed was me to become a man. I learned to activate that man inside me through prison which forced me to become a man, and honestly i don't think my mom really cared if i ever became one because to her i was still her baby boy. I ask all Single Parent Mothers even if you have a male cousin or male friend have them guide your sons because its just certain things a boy needs to hear from a man to activate the man inside of him, because that motherly tone just don't do it sometimes. A woman could not tell me what a man was because she didn't know herself, only a man can tell me what a man is and guide me on the path. Though some mothers do a wonderful job steering the wheel, only a man will can tell a Mama "I got it, you can let go of the wheel now". So, mothers let go of the wheel, if you been holding on too long and Fathers, step up, we need you, the world needs you.

Peace , Love and Happiness!

Magnetic