How did this happen

Like every single parent, I never set out with this to be my goal. I didn't suddenly wake up one morning and think "I'm bored why not get pregnant and raise two boys all by myself". Trust me that was never the dream, but as fate would have it that was indeed what would happen to me. The boys father and myself went our separate ways, for the best of reasons, but eventually the contact became less and less till one day nothing, absolutely nothing, no address, no number, no money, abso-effing-lutely nothing. And so the story began, me with two small boys the baby was 4 weeks old and the oldest (my big baby) was 7 months old. From that moment on we became the Three Musketeers and we have been a tight family unit ever since. They are now 14 and almost 13 and I have bent over backwards to provide for them. When I returned to work I was cleaning tables as a lunch time supervisor (which is just a posh way of saying lunch lady) and worked to where I am now a vice principal of a bilingual kindergarten in Germany. I'm not going to say it was easy, because that would be an outright lie, I have struggled and at times I have felt as if I was swimming in mud and struggling to breath, but I have done my best and worked hard for us to get to where we are now. Along this journey, that is by no means anywhere near the finish line, we have laughed, and I mean really laughed to where tears are rolling down our cheeks, my tummy hurts and if I'm honest after two kids even a little pee came out if I laughed too hard (it happens to all of us, at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it), we have all cried and I have done most of my crying in the shower so the boys couldn't see or hear (and I know I'm not the only one, I see you nodding your head mum's). But despite the hardest times, the saddest times and the times where I just really didn't know what to do, I have loved being a mother and would not and could not imagine my life without them anymore. On days where I had more month left than money those boys were what got me out of bed and kept grinding. When I feel as if I am falling asleep standing up but know I have a few more hours of running the house after working a full day of work, they keep me going. Some days if it wasn't for the boys I would want to lie in bed with morning breath, imitating the appearance of a homeless crack head and just wallow in self pity, but something in side me keeps me going because above all I know that who they learn from first and foremost is me, and I cant ever hope for them to learn what it is to have a work ethic and grind hard if they see me giving up at ever difficult hurdle. So together we got this, even if at times I am not really sure we do got this, but I never let them know, I cant because they rely on me and they watch me even when I think they aren't.

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