What do I know?

I am the mother of two boys, do you know what that really means? Because I didn't, I had no clue. Boys are different to us, they think different, they do different, they see the world different and of course they interact with the world different. I don't know what goes through their heads any more than they know what goes through mine, most days I don't even know what goes through mine. But I do know that half the time this is why we clash and when we clash I mean its like full on war........and I always win, I have to, I'm the mum. Anyway, back to the point. Men and women, boys and girls are different and I may be their mother and know what type of man I would like the boys to grow into but I cant begin to be the person that teaches them how to be THAT man. Only a man can teach a boy about man things right?

I mean, take for instance a simple task like going to the toilet. Most of us adults don't even give it a second thought, we need a pee and we just go to the bathroom and do what needs to be done and then leave.......no DON'T leave, go back and wipe first. But you know what I mean. OK, so that sounds simple, as a grown woman I needed a pee so off to the bathroom I went and pee'd, only now I had two small boys watching me, and as a teacher and parent I know that a child's first lessons, and often the most important and fundamental lessons, are learned in the home from the parents (plural, meaning two because that is of course society's natural order), anyway I was now being watched intently while I pee'd (yes it is slightly weird and takes some getting used too) it is a bit like being stalked and then at some point asking your stalker to move in with you, but after all these years I am used to it now and to be honest even at work people always say "WOW you pee fast" and I always say the same thing, I'm a mum you either pee fast or you have an audience and I have been peeing fast for 14 years, I am what you would call a 'fast pee expert' if we were to give it a job title. Anyway that is not the point. The point is that because the boys' only frame of reference was me they began to think everybody sat down on the toilet to pee. That was until they witnessed their grandfather pee and that men can do it standing up....or so they think, but again that's a different story for a different time. So as you can see it is a very simple, natural thing for any of us to do, but vastly different and I could never have taught them how a man pee's. Of course I am simplifying the subject somewhat here in order to introduce the concept of specific roles in education our children, but you get my point. Men and women are different and what do we really know about each other and how can I as a woman teach my boys to be a man.

Now that does not mean that I have disregarded my responsibilities as a parent, after all I can teach them the fundamentals of being a human, love, respect, honesty, trust, loyalty, family values, responsibility, yet there is no denying the things I can never teach them or if I do teach them it is merely from the point of view of a woman rather than a man. Without me knowing or fully realizing my father has played a vital role in the boys lives, and many of my closest male friends. Simply, their presence and imparting small gems of knowledge that I do not posses and therefore can not share, has helped tremendously. I thank the wonderful men in my life, because without them being there to answer my questions or to give me or the boys advice and just a listening ear, some situations would have been a bigger struggle for them and me.